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This means reordering his life so that he can spend time online and away from others. Like any addict, a porn addict will begin to revolve his life around the next buzz. Many men describe it as feeling “numb.” 7.
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The more a man becomes entrenched in porn, the more he begins to lose interest in real world relationships, especially with his wife and children. Your husband seems emotionally “distant” or withdrawn. He called this the “Triple-A Engine.” The last factor, anonymity, is key. A man’s belief that no one knows where he is going online gives a false sense of security: “What I’m doing online is my own business, and it isn’t hurting anyone else.” 6. The late psychologist Al Cooper wrote that three factors often contribute to an Internet porn addiction: affordability (most porn is cheap or free), accessibility (it can be accessed nearly anywhere), and anonymity (no one has to know what you’re doing).
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If the Internet histories are constantly empty, he may be clearing his history to cover his tracks. Your devices’ Internet histories are empty.Ĭheck your husband’s web browsers on his phone, laptop, home computer, or tablet. He may demand to be left alone with his computer or become irritable if he can’t get online. Your husband spends an excessive amount of time online.Ī porn user almost always has dysfunctional relationship to technology-many hours spent online alone, often at odd hours or at times when they should be spending time with their families and friends. These are huge red flags and one of the clear signs of porn addiction. Others will begin to show an interest in bondage, fetishes, sadomasochism, group sex, or activities that make you feel belittled and used. Some men show a sudden interest in “rough” sex or sexual activities you haven’t discussed and agreed to. Porn films often pair physical and verbal aggression with sex. This might mean that your husband is surprisingly demanding during sex-even getting frustrated when you don’t perform to his exact specifications. On the other end of the spectrum, some men entrenched in porn want to act out their fantasies in the real world. Your husband’s sexual tastes have changed. But turn on an Internet device with unlimited pages of novelty, and boom, the plumbing works.” 3. “When preparing for real sex, the pornified brain fails to get its dopamine surge and the signal to the penis is too weak to achieve erection. In the book The Porn Circuit, Sam Black writes, It is common for addicts to blame their partners for their inability to perform. They have conditioned their mind to be turned on only by self-sex and porn images. While there are several medical reasons for ED, for the porn addict the problem is not in the organ, but in the brain. It isn’t uncommon for porn addicts to experience porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Your otherwise healthy husband is unable maintain an erection during sex. Not only is their sexual energy tapped, but they begin to prefer the “safe” realm of fantasy over the “risky” real world of intimacy. They become desensitized to other forms of pleasure-even sexual intercourse-preferring the buzz they get from porn.
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While many addicts want a high frequency of sex (see #3), as the addiction escalates, they begin to lose interest in their partner.